Tuesday, June 28, 2011
A resume tends to define a person. Usually we list all our job positions, our qualifications, and accomplishments with the hope to sell ourselves to the highest bidder. But this resume defines my life from a different perspective, with the hope of selling nothing to anybody. It's just me looking back over the events that stand out in my life and are important to me.
I was exposed to school but nothing stands out in my mind about the experience and not a whole lot was taken away from it. What does stand out is the first time I fell in love. I really fell head over heels for a guy and all the other important things in my life up to that point became meaningless. Everyone in my world was totally grossed out by my new priority and consequently the world as I knew it fell away from me. I lived in the consciousness of this first love and found it to be a real roller coaster ride. I put him first in my life but he was un-willing or un-able to put me first and so one day I came crashing back to earth. All my family and friends who I knew before I fell in love were not there to pick me up and tell me everything was going to be alright. I ended up homeless and on the road with a back-pack full of everything I owned at the time. I wandered around shell shocked like this for about a year before I fell in love again.
By this time my spiritual awareness had taken a tremendous turn for the better. I never compromised with the crap of the world and was determined to die rather than live without love. So love came into my life in a way that I couldn't say no to even if I wanted. This time I had nobody in my life to object to this love affair, but his world hated the idea of having their son mixed-up with a hobo girl. But this time he stuck by me and I helped him materialize just about anything he wanted because I had no attachments of my own.
And so it goes still. I am still in love and still materializing our world through love and the outside world is doing everything it can to stop us. But because I spent my life trying not to play games, I have become the best game player around. The world doesn't blatantly attack me anymore. It keeps it's distance and waits for an opening in the hopes of eliminating a witness who sees through it's illusions.