Thursday, December 9, 2010

Versatile Blogger Award

Seven things about me;

1.   I milk cows for a living and talk to animals

2.   I have had a religious experience.( although everyone I know calls it a break-down )

3.   I tend to go out with guys who are idiots.

4.   Where ever I go, I never fit in.

5.   Have trouble making other people understand where I'm coming from.

6.   Don't use a persons' gender to determine whether or not I will fall in love with them.

7.    Am always confronting my fears instead of running away from them.

   Now 7 people who should be awarded;

1.  A Wild Willow

2.  Weave Dreamer

3.  Coltin1948

4. Crazed Minx
5.  JoDyZvv0rLd

6.  Gelovsky
7.  Aaron Trotter

 Now even though I don't have to put in a weird story, I'm still going to do it anyway.  This is a story about my religious experience-nervous breakdown.  I'm sure it's weird enough.

A Willing Victim

I live and work on this dairy farm with my mom and step dad. Mostly my step dad is more a guru to me than a parent and over the years we have attained a high level of conscious awareness together. My biological father, however, is having his mental problems and mostly I go and live with him to help him out mentally as well as do a little work on the horse farm he owns.

This winter my bio father and I got into an argument and I left the ranch and found an apartment and started doing some part time work at McDonalds to make ends meet. Now I'm a very spiritual person and spend a lot of time meditating. Even at the best of times I don't have a lot of attachment to the material world or what most people call the real world. Then one day I found I couldn't break my" trance like" meditative state and was unable to interact with the reality that used to be me. I could view my real world as though I was looking through a thick distorted glass, but I couldn't make contact with it. Now I was able to overcome my fear of death and stay calm but I felt I was trapped on this astral plane type of existence which made me feel very isolated.

Then I became aware of another presence and when it touched my mind I knew it to be my step dad. He was able to leave the material plane and find me here in never never land. He told me that what was happening to me usually happened to someone just before the soul left the illusion of personality and body behind and reincarnated. He thought in my case I would eventually gain control of my body again without going through the messy process of death. In the meantime he explained that my soul was running my body for the purpose of healing my dad which is what I came here to do. In a sense I was a willing victim. And through his mind I could see what was happening to my body on my material plane of existence.


  1. Hiya Suzzy. I somehow can’t believe the material world is the real world. What a depressing prospect if it was.

    I envy you, confronting your fears. I think I’m learning that now, but I’ve spent too long living in fear. Thankfully things change.
    The enigmatic, masked blogger

  2. We all have experiences in lives that create us and define who we are.. There is nothing wrong with that, nor is there anything wrong with growing, loving, being spiritual, even being religious if that is what a person chooses. What matters is that you choose a path that will help you to cope and face your fears, it sounds like to me you have done an exceptional job of this..
    Thank you for sharing.. I think you are an exceptional person myself! xo

  3. Hi Mask, I too have trouble believing that the real world is only this materialistic idea that we were brain washed into thinking is the only reality. I know there are other realities for sure, you just can't live in them and leave your body behind.

    As for confronting your fears, it is obvious, at least to me, that you write out of love and not fear. You have faced your fears and become stronger for the experience.

  4. Hi Minx, I was really touched by your sweet comment. Thank you. I was over at your site the other day and read your blog about spirituality. All kinds of ideas came into my head and I tried to comment back but because of some computer glich, I wasn't able to. So I'll try again to make contact because I would like it if we stayed in touch.

  5. Hello Suzzy, I think it was the template that I was using that was causing the problems with commenting.. I separated my blogs up and decided that I would Keep my spiritual, feelings kind of too the side, maybe I should open that back up for ohters though.. I had a lot of family that took offense to that particular blog that you are speaking of so it was kind of a must to separate somethings..

  6. Found your blog through the Mask. I am completely enchanted and will join as a follower right now. I look forward to reading more. Loved the story of your step dad taking you to school. Lovely.

  7. PS--If you check out my blog, you will see that step 10 of 10 Steps to Finding Your Happy Place is "Be here now."