Monday, October 21, 2013

writing without attachment


   So I met this guy, Brad, and we hit it off right away on playstation home.  For me it was the feeling of falling in love.  I just let myself feel wonderful with this guy and I could feel how wonderful I made him feel too.  I found out that he was a kick boxer who had recently had a bad auto accident and now has pins and a plate in his leg which will stop him from doing what he does best to make his living.  It seems I am attracted to guys who are hurting and am able to heal them, at least mentally for awhile.  Anyway it was really nice until the other day when he was distracted and had to leave me to see another girl on playstation home.  I started coming down from my high and figured I would crash like I usually do when I let myself fall in love in this virtual world.
  But this time it was different.  A guy, Kent, who I have been in virtual contact with for over a year, showed up and told me how sorry he was for getting me upset the last time we were together.  He was being mean to one of my other male friends, probably because he was jealous, and I asked him to be nice but he said no, so I left him.  Now he regretted being such a jerk because he felt really bad knowing I was upset with him.  It was at that point that I understood how much Kent cared for me and he really did ease the pain of my recent feeling of being betrayed..
   Then Brad showed up, probably because the girl he left me for was just playing around with him, and wanted to pick up where we left off.  But my friend Kent was there and he went out of his way to be nice to my ex-lover, Brad.  I felt very touched that he would do that for me and told him so, which made him feel wonderful.  Maybe this is what love is really about.

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