Wednesday, August 18, 2010

We were young when we met, we were both 16. At that time my mom, step dad and I were having a very hard time running the dairy farm. There was a lot of stress and things were looking bad until David showed up. Even at 16 he made a great difference in our lives and especially mine. He was as dedicated to the farm and the cows as I was and we would work together day in and day out. It was wonderful. I got to the point where I was so grateful that I would do anything for him. He had about 15 brothers and sisters so he didn’t get much attention growing up.

I remember going to Walmart with him and realizing that he had never been in a big store like that and started to get really nervous to the point where I had to take him outside. That’s how pure he was.

After a few years he got married and brought his wife to live on the farm too. But our relationship didn’t change. We were still dedicated to the cows and making the dairy work was the most important thing to us.

One night I dreamt that some kind of monster was attacking the farm and I tried to stop it but it was too strong for me and then David came and overcame the monster. But then as the monster ran away, he went after it and in the dream I had the feeling he wasn’t coming back. That killing this monster was his destiny.

Well the night before he left I woke up from a sound sleep because the house was filling up with smoke. Now I usually just sleep with a T-shirt and ran down to the wood stove in the basement without stopping to put more on. Our houses are connected in the basement and David had also smelled the smoke and came running down. It turned out to be just a stove pipe had come lose and it was soon fixed. But as we looked at each other I felt something I had never felt before. I felt for the first time that I wanted to give myself completely to a man. It didn’t happen of course but I guess I’m still waiting to feel like that again to the person I marry.


  1. So I was wondering why you never let him know how you felt before he was married??

  2. Hi FATTKAW, We never did discuss our relationship in any terms besides a working relationship because David is Amish and his culture would shun him if he had taken up with me. I didn't think he could handle that and I was content to let things continue along in the same way. Thanks for stopping by.

  3. I love this post,

    I too have shared this same love for a friend once, and we did act upon it, and it ruined the friendship to say the least. Perhaps it was good you never went any further, you left your friendship at a beautiful place...

    and I am sure you will find that feeling again.

  4. Hey Chelsea, Thank you for your touching comment. That's my great consolation, "we left our friendship at a beautiful place. On good days, that's enough, on bad days I wish there had been more. Sharing with someone like you is very nice.