I live and work on my parents' dairy farm but once in a while I take time off to see how the rest of the world lives. This time I went to Massachusetts where I was brought up and know a few people there.
"Hi Cardy, I'm Denise," I say as I'm introduced to this new dude. He is kinda cute and never lets the joint go by without taking a good toke from it. Then as can be expected, he starts to rap.
"Well people, I'm heading out on a 1,500 mile trip within the next couple of weeks to live at a place called the University of the Wilderness. It seems the place is in need of people to live there for free if your willing to work on the place and buildings for your room and board." Cardy explained. "I'm thinking of spending at least this summer there to see how I like the place. Everyone gets a small cabin on the top of this beautiful mountain near Cheyenne, Wyoming. The problem is that I would like someone to make the trip with me and am searching for volunteers." At the end of this speech, a hush fell over the room and it appeared that Cardy's speech had fallen on deaf ears. It was then that my insanity asserted itself and I declared, "I'll go with you." This happens to me a lot, I say or do things and I'm just not sure why.
I think it has to do with me trying to live out my own karma. This is certainly a situation where I open myself up to whatever karma is out there waiting for me. Of course, there's always the male female thingy to deal with, but it seems to me that Cardy is looking more for intense experiences rather than a sexual object. That isn't to say I'm opposed to a sexual experience, it's just that I sense a strong male ego in Cardy that I would rather not deal with at this time, if I can avoid it.
“Are you for real or just pulling my chain?" Cardy asks as he looks me over for a second time.
"I'm not sure of anything except I have to be somewhere and on top of a mountain in Wyoming is as good a place as any to be," I responded.
He looked me over again and couldn't believe is good luck. Mostly men judge women by how they look on the surface but with me it's my mind you have to watch out for.
"OK if you're serious we'll leave two weeks from today. Don't take too
much stuff because we'll be going in a small car. Think you can handle traveling light?"
"I've traveled with no vehicle, a knap sack of clothes and hardly any money. This should be a piece of cake if you're more a plus than a minus," I challenged.
"You seem to be just who I'm looking for. Be ready next Friday and it's me and you down the road together, sweetie."
"Don't call me sweetie and you're on," I said as he gave me this shit eating grin. So, the time came for us to pack the trunk of this little blue car, with a rusted fender and a yellow hood and start our trip. As we traveled down the road, I knew this experience could lead to a sexual encounter that Cardy wasn't ready to embrace. I have this thing for straight guys and like to lead them on to the very edge of their male ego tolerance.
It took me years and a lot of help from my stepdad to overcome male egos. I know mostly guys are controlled by the little monster. But male egos are very unaware and can be overcome by a pretty face. I seem to trigger an awareness in guys which overrides their infatuated ego and sees through the little game I am playing. But the ego quickly reasserts itself and continues playing my game without acknowledging the truth of our situation.
It wasn't very long before Cardy wanted to make a stop at a bar and grill he saw along the way. I know this place and these people even if the names and faces are different. The consciousness level is always the same. Cardy seems to fit in to this kind of atmosphere but there is more to him than the average beer drinking male red neck. He seems surprised at himself for liking me as much as he does.
He instinctively knows in order to seduce me he has to meet me on my awareness level which he's finding out is a lot higher than your average chick out looking to get laid.
I find a table in the back and watch as Cardy starts to work the crowd. He has an act that doesn't quit and entertains the guys as well as the girls in the place. He's good at pin ball, kinda like the pin ball wizard who is deaf, dumb and blind. Total concentration with a little creative materialization happening as he manipulates the pin ball machine with his mind.
But here I sit alone. Alone happens for me and there is never any guarantee the person who left you alone is ever coming back, no matter how the circumstances appear to the contrary. So, I walk over to the bar and ask the bar tender about the rooms for let sign over the bar.
He says there are indeed rooms available, and I could have one. So, I got my things out of the car and went up to the room. Cardy was so busy with his act and drinking that he just didn't notice I was gone. In the room I started meditating. Often times I need to feel the concept of home and when it isn't on the surface, I find it inside myself. Then suddenly the door flew open, and I got brought out of my trance like state. Cardy was at the door a little drunk and a little pissed off.
Why did you leave like that?" he demanded.
"I didn't leave you; you were somewhere else. I was alone and acted as such. You don't seem to handle alone as well as I do."
He really does seem to want to be with me, so I ask him to sit in front of me in a lotus position, so he drops to the ground in a lazy crisscross. I tickle out a laugh but proceed to squat near him. I kneel and touch his head. "Straight and dignified, maybe raise it a little to the air. Receive your thoughts, don't look down on them unless you need to hide them. Relax your shoulders, no need to prepare them for battle. Unlock your posture, no... not sloppy, just up and straight.... with ease. Feel it?" My hand is now on his chest.
As Cardy becomes more relaxed in my presence and is starting to trust me as much as he's able to trust anyone, my mind opens up to him and he starts to fall into it. His body twitches as his mind leaves it behind and his essence flies through the window of my soul and we meet in an inner realm of my creation. We are both naked as I take his hand in mine and pull him down on top of me. At first he starts to use me to gain some illusionary end which doesn't exist on this plane. Then he becomes more aware as he realizes there is nothing to win or lose here.
“Be Here Now," I whisper in his ear.
"I've never been this high in my entire life," he whispers back as we merge and our consciousness expands to the point where we touch the mind of God. Nobody stays this high for long and suddenly there is an explosion of white light which propels our souls back into our body.
"What the fuck happen?" Cardy screams as he gets to his feet and looks at me like I'm some kind of witch.
"I was just playing with your mind a little bit dear, you seemed to be enjoying yourself the last time I looked."
"What you did was really fuckin weird, nobody does it like that."
"Well I feel bad for everyone else cuz fucking with your mind is soooo much better than slopping around with your bodies.' I purred back at him.
"I'm going back down stairs where normal people use their bodies to slop around with each other. If I were smart I'd leave you right here and go on alone, it would be safer. "Lucky for you I never go the safe route." With that he slammed the door and was gone for the night only, I hope.
He did come back, but that's another story.
