Is Writing worth while

I go back and forth on this issue.  Mostly people want to be entertained and that includes me.  But I find if I write with the idea of trying to entertain, then my writing doesn't flow and it becomes work trying get people off.  So I write mostly because it feels good to drag my thoughts up from the depth of my being and present them to the world for what they are worth.  Generally the feed back tells me that not many people are interested in my deepest thoughts.  Often times they don't even understand what I'm trying to say.  But I keep writing anyway and if I start getting upset because I'm not getting enough attention then I know I'm placing too much value on what people think and not enough value on the experience of writing down my thoughts without attachment.  And for me this is always my goal, to come to the surface with my thoughts and desires without attachment. 

  Lately I'm doing this kindle blogging for money.  (I get 30 cents for each subscription and believe me I haven't gotten rich yet)  But writing for money is just one more way attachment sneaks up on you and tries to get you excited about making money or bummed out if you don't make any.  So I only write when the energy feels good and then once in a while somebody reads what I wrote and shares the good energy I put into my writing, and I am content with this.

My Old Mare

 I was out in the woods today with my wagon and team of older horses.  The mare is 20 plus years old and the gelding is just a little younger.  Now this is very old for horses but when you spend a lot of time with a horse, it is really hard to sell her and buy a young horse which you know will give you more trouble than she's worth for a few years until she is trained to fit into your program.  Some horses never get really trained and you have to put up with their bad habits for as long as you own them. 

  So last week my old mare fell down in the stall and had a lot of trouble getting up because the floor was slippery.  I had to get my truck and pull her to the door where she pushed herself out onto the dirt yard where her back legs were able to dig into the ground and she was able to get herself up.  She was however stiff from thrashing around in the stall so I didn't use her until today to see if she was still able to pull her own weight around here.  Well she did fall again but it was mostly my fault because I was backing her where she tripped over some rotting wood.  I unhitched her and told her to get up and she did.  Then I put her back on the wagon, loaded up some wood and she did fine bringing the wood back to the wood pile.

  So twice now within a matter of a week I got to watch an animal, whom I love, teeter on the brink of death.  Now this kind of experience makes one feel very vulnerable.  We try to minimize the pain and vulnerability by thinking I can buy another horse or shit happens.  But with love we become aware of the fact that everything and everybody is not replaceable.  You just feel the loss between you and the object you love until your karmic debt is paid.  And that karmic debt is paid in time and distance between you and the next object you need to project your love onto.  In this case my horse got up and our relationship continued after only a few minutes of extreme suffering on my part.  But this suffering, which happens when a love object is taken away, can last years sometimes.   And this is why many people do not let themselves love.  But love is the only reality, everything else is illusion.

Finding Babaji

This is a story I really love;



Finding Babaji

On another occasion Babaji’s sacred circle was disturbed by the arrival of a stranger. He had climbed with astonishing skill to the nearly inaccessible ledge near the camp of the master.

“‘Sir, you must be the great Babaji.’ The man’s face was lit with inexpressible reverence. ‘For months I have pursued a ceaseless search for you among these forbidding crags. I implore you to accept me as a disciple.’

“When the great guru made no response, the man pointed to the rocky chasm at his feet.

“‘If you refuse me, I will jump from this mountain. Life has no further value if I cannot win your guidance to the Divine.’

“‘Jump then,’ Babaji said unemotionally. ‘I cannot accept you in your present state of development.’

“The man immediately hurled himself over the cliff. Babaji instructed the shocked disciples to fetch the stranger’s body. When they returned with the mangled form, the master placed his divine hand on the dead man. Lo! he opened his eyes and prostrated himself humbly before the omnipotent one.

“‘You are now ready for discipleship.’ Babaji beamed lovingly on his resurrected chela. ‘You have courageously passed a difficult test. Death shall not touch you again; now you are one of our immortal flock.’ Then he spoke his usual words of departure, ‘Dera danda uthao’; the whole group vanished from the mountain.

This is a commentary by a friend of mine who also lives in the the rabbit hole;



Yes sireee Beloved Princess Now we’re talking…

Babaji is our Boogey Board on which we ride, and regardless of whether we paddle along on endless calm or Shoot the gnarliest Tube on earth, it is Babaji which supports and sustains all our activities. And should we get caught in a WIPEOUT, rest assured, our Babaji Board is attached with a Short Cord and doesn’t get far away… So bring on the Waves, all your polar fluxing duality, and shoot me high or crash me down either way there is between the energy and myself always the old reliable Babaji Board… You can come on Safari with me, but I’m already there, which is why I am able to Invite You along…

The Episode

  It's been years now that this guy, Kent, has been stalking me.  He shows up at the farm when I'm by myself and we get into these heated discussions which would unnerve anyone who isn't guru material.  This last time was just out of this world.  He already had one involuntary commitment under his belt when he showed up at my door a few months ago.  And as always the conversation turned ugly with yelling and screaming until I got so fed up that I picked up the phone and told him I was going to dial 911 if he didn't leave me alone.  That just got him more upset and he gave me a shove and started walking down the road in the freezing rain.  I knew he had nowhere to go and if he didn't end up dead, he would probably be back to harass me further.  By this time the police were on the line wanting information.  I figured it would be a blessing for Kent if the police picked him up and saved him from him self.  So I told the police where he was walking down the road.

 Then a police car pulled into the yard and the police officer wanted to know what happened.  I told him how Kent had threatened me and pushed me but I didn't want him to be arrested.  I just felt he needed help.  So the officer said he could pick him up on a 302 if the professional people involved thought that was the thing to do.  Well I had been to a session with Kent and his psychiatrist and even at that time he attacked me and the psychiatrist had to stop him.  So I called the psychiatrist and let him talk to the police officer.  Then I called up the crisis worker, who also was aware of Kent's condition, and she issued the 302.  That meant the police could pick him up and drive him to the nearest psych clinic for an evaluation.  The crisis worked sent one of her staff to the hospital and I had to go myself to provide all the necessary information.  Before the doctor saw Kent, he tried to leave twice and the crisis worker and hospital staff had to restrain him.  Then he was brought to another psychiatric hospital by the sheriff and was under lock and key for three days.  During that three days they issued a 303 on him to keep him an extra week.  During that week he refused to take any medication so six big male nurses had to hold him down while the doctor gave him a shot.  That seemed to change his religion and after another two weeks they let him go.

  Needless to say he hates my guts now, but he can't be any meaner to me than what he has already been.  God told me not to worry because He wouldn't let Kent torture me to death.  So I'm going with that.

Plight of the Dairy Farmer

The issue before us is “Why can’t the dairy farmer price his own milk?” or “The plight of the dairy farmer”.


 

  The simple answer to this question is that things are set up that way.  To attempt to explain how things came to be as they are we can begin by looking at how farm produce was priced in 1946.  At that time farmers were receiving 100% parity for their products.  In other words, the price of farm goods was proportionate to that of non-farm goods being produced and sold in this country.  Then laws were passed concerning agricultural products, and the farmer gradually went from receiving 100% parity just  after WWII to receiving less than 50% parity today.  The money that the farmer doesn't see now shows up in the economy in such forms as taxes, interest, insurance premiums and government jobs.  At full parity, everyone benefits; when the producers of new wealth, be it corn, natural gas or milk, receive fair compensation for their products, the money runs through the whole economy.  This is how everyone gets paid, from the farmer or the miner, through the processing, manufacturing and marketing operations, all the way to the distributors and vendors of the final products.  It is not a matter of bargaining; if the money doesn't enter the system at the raw materials level, it simply won't be there as capital for the rest of the economy to use.  There is a direct relation between the price the farmer is paid and the price the average worker is paid; an increase in earnings for the first means an increase in earnings for the second, so that the plight of the farmer is in fact identical to the plight of the city dweller.  When the farmer and the average worker are cheated,  when businessmen steal the new wealth and hire foreign labor to process it, the money remains at the top of the economic ladder to be doled out as the bankers, politicians and businessmen see fit.  The reason for our high level of debt is that since consumers cannot consume production from their earnings they must borrow to do it, thus profiting bankers and businessmen even further.  It seems inevitable that as more and more of the nation's money is controlled by fewer and fewer people, the middle class will start to collapse, forcing more and more of the people to live at poverty level.

Duality

The Great Way is not difficult


for those not attached to preferences.

When neither love nor hate arises,

all is clear and undisguised.

Separate by the smallest amount, however,

and you are as far from it as heaven is from earth.

If you wish to know the truth,

then hold to no opinions for or against anything.

To set up what you like against what you dislike

is the disease of the mind.

  I am usually aware of the fact that everyone eventually eats her own karma and there is perfect balance in the universe between right and wrong and good and bad, pleasure and pain etc. But on a mortal illusionary level, upon which we all work out, we are presented with the appearance of unjust suffering. So the governments of the world set up courts to correct this situation (which really doesn't need fixing in the first place) but it is a grand attempt to convince the mortal world that the most powerful ego gets to decide who should do the suffering and who should end up with the pleasure to balance things off. And if we fall for this illusion we are totally lost.


But I've come to the conclusion that even on this illusionary, mortal plane, it doesn't have to be the biggest ego who doles out pleasure and pain. An aware person can enter these games and be the one to decide where the balance between right and wrong, pleasure and pain should fall. This is not the great way or enlightenment but it is an interesting mental, spiritual exercise for me.

 And so you ask,"What is the aware person aware of?"  And the answer is;

 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,


for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

 Blessed are the meek,

for they will inherit the earth.

 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they will be filled.

 Blessed are the merciful,

for they will be shown mercy.

 Blessed are the pure in heart,

for they will see God.

How your world looks from the perspective of your God self

I can't say this enough.  It's very important that you gradually let go of your intellect and ego as the prime movers in your life and voluntarily let your God self take control.  At the beginning of your life the world will help you develop your intellect and ego for the purpose of using you.  Then at some point the world will discard this illusionary you, forcing you to come to terms with your God self.  And often times this means death or insanity.  The way to break away from your intellect and ego and merge with your God self is through love.  Find someone or something in this world which you are willing to give up your life for, and that should do it.




  So you get to the point where you say yes I will follow this other person even though I think I will end up dead because of this incredibly stupid move he or she is about to make.  So you leave your ego and intellect screaming in the dust and follow this person who you love.  Well I'll tell you right here and now that you will not die at this point.  Nobody gets off that easy.  You will find the world is willing to arrange circumstances for you and the person you love to survive this incredibly stupid move.  Then your intellect will shout in your mind,"But only this once, if you try this again I'll have to let you die."  But for some reason, even you can't figure out, you keep following this insane person who you love and everyday you look your own death in the eye but he never quite drags you down into your grave.  So after a few years of this, if you're as stupid as I am, you start to wonder about the credibility of your intellect and ego.  This is the point where the insane person that you loved all these past few years, leaves you and does his best to destroy you on the way out.



  So you walk down the road with nothing but the post hypnotic suggestion from your lover, that it is time to put an end to your miserable existence.  But at this point a very strange thing happens.  You hear laughter coming from the core of your being and you realize that laughter is coming from your God self welcoming you home.